With Jesus, change is inevitable

As of late, God has been asking me to change a lot of things.
Which is wonderful...but definitely hard.
To be honest, the hardest one has to do with the friendships that I hold on to and what I expect from them.
I've always expect people to care a certain amount about my life and what's going on it.

While in Leticia, feeling completely alone and forgotten at times, I began to realize that I can't just stand there and wait for people to love and care as much as I want them to.

Maybe I'm interpreting this completely wrong, but God first loved us. And personally, it was the way that He overwhelmed my heart with His love that led me to desire to love Him back.

I don't want to OVERWHELM someone with my love; that's what Jesus is doing. But I gotta show someone the love that I have for them. Period. Not because I want them to love me just as much or cause I want them to care. No. God sent His one and only Son to die for ALL. He doesn't expect for EVERYONE to turn around and love Him just as much. But He does desire for that to happen.

Anyway, maybe I went a little of track for a second.

So yeah, God has been asking me to really evaluate the reasons why I hold on to a friendship and if maybe I'm being completely selfish in certain ones.

Without mentioning names to save the innocent, God has asks me to let go of the way that I hold on to a specific friendship. My intentions of why I would hang out with them and why I would talk to them were extremely selfish.

It's definitely been hard.

This whole..process of letting go has been going on for a while.
And to be honest, there's times when I fail and fall flat on my face and get up more bruised that I used to be. But man, God is so faithful.

With every fall and getting up, He helps me realize something new about this certain friendship.

I feel like at this very moment, my intentions have made an indescribable shift. I feel like I can talk to the person without having second intentions. I feel like I can talk to them just for the sake of talking. I feel like I can be their friend just for the sake of being their friend. I don't know if that sounds wrong, but it's true. I mean, I can be their friend and well, that's it. I can be their friend and hopefully, we can both be blessed through the friendship that we share.

God has changed my heart and my life so much. Some changes have been really hard and some not AS hard. But change, man, it's a beautiful thing.